Okay, Mmm hmmmm, Harmony!

Earlier tonight,” I caught myself saying “Okay… mhmmm…” to Harmony without understanding what she was asking me.  All I heard was,  “Say Okay Nanay*… Say okay Nanay.”  I was too busy checking my email that I didn't realize I just agreed with her that she can have ice cream tomorrow morning, the same ice cream that Mr Frederickson and Russell were eating (she was watching the movie “Up” at that time). LOL!  Luckily she repeated the question one more time so I caught it.  I sighed and thought to myself…  “Here I go again. Mmmhhmm-ing to one of her many jibber-jabbers because I was too busy with things that probably don’t matter as much as her.”

There are times when it will dawn on me that she just told me her entire day’s activities or she’ll ask me some seemingly important question, but all I heard was just “Yes, Nanay? Yes?” or “Okay?” because I was so preoccupied with something else.  When it finally hits me that she was saying something, I turn to her and see her eyes full of wonder staring at me, waiting for some approval, answer or explanation.  At times like that, I realize I may have just missed her most intelligent story-telling ever because I was so busy to pay attention. 

And it is at those times when I wonder how my life would be if God was like me—not paying attention my little jibber-jabbers because He is such a big God.  I mean come on!  He controls everything!  I think it would be fair to say that He doesn't have to listen to every single one of my petty complaints and put up with all my unfaithfulness and empty promises because He has the entire world to take care of.  And yet amazingly, He does!  He puts up with me just as He tells the wind to go this direction!  He listens to me at the same time He tells the waves to come only this far at the shore.  He knows I’m in pain at the same time He tells the earth to rotate at this exact axis around the sun at this exact pathway. 

Thank God He pays attention to my questions and gives me the right answer at the right time.  And I am thankful that He knows what's best for me so He doesn't give me every single jibber-jabber request I ask Him.  Because if He does,  I may be having stomach ache tomorrow for eating ice cream for breakfast. LOL

*Nanay - the Tagalog/Filipino word for Mom.

Write Your Alphabet, Harmony!

Teaching Harmony how to write isn't always easy.  There are days when she loves writing because she knows what to do and does it well.  Then there are days when she struggles when I ask her to practice her letters "R" or "Y."  For her, these letters are the most difficult thing in the world to write.  I see her sigh and groan in frustration, looking up to me, wondering why she has to go through it again and again.  She tends to want to just focus on the easier letters and not go through the difficult ones.  But as her mother, I have to lovingly explain to her that these struggles are necessary and a huge part of growing up.  Her Alphabet will never be complete without the "Rs" and the "Ys." I know that she will have to face these "difficult" letters for the rest of her life because they are a part of her name. If she doesn't learn to deal with them now, she will have a greater struggle later when she starts school.

There are days when I love life because I seem to know what I'm doing.  But there are days when I wonder if I will ever get it right...  Days when I look up to heaven and ask God if I really have to go through the struggles and frustrations again.  But every time, God lovingly reminds me, "Anak (My Child), your life's Alphabet will not be complete without the "Rs" and the "Ys."  Your struggles are as much of a part of your life as the letters of your name. If you don't learn to deal with these now, you will have a greater struggle later down the road when you face a bigger challenge."

Most of the time, I teach Harmony the basics of a preschooler. But from time to time, God will use her to teach me the basics of my life.

You'll Get Better, Harmony.

Harmony spilled her chocolate milk on her clothes and the kitchen floor one morning earlier in January this year. Frustrated at herself for making a mess, she runs to me crying, begging me to help her get cleaned up because she knows the mess she made is beyond her capacity to fix.

While cleaning her up, she looks up to me and asked, "Nanay, you're not galit (angry)?" I hugged her and gave her a kiss and said "No, Anak. You'll get better next time." So she hopped and skipped away, believing she will do better next time..

Oh! To run to the Heavenly Father with a child-like faith when we make a mess....

Oh! To stop pretending that we can fix it all and just let Him help us get "cleaned up" and truly experience His love, His grace and His mercy... Oh! To get better each time... what a day it will be!!!

I love Mom-moments... especially when they lead to God-moments like this....

Toughen Up, Harmony!

As Harmony grows up, I've seen her get rejected or ignored by other kids when she calls them to play. My maternal instinct is to bubble wrap her from the pain of rejection. But my other instinct tells me she needs this to toughen up and face the real world out there.

I realize that the day will come when boys will ignore her or break her heart. The day will come when girls will think she's not good enough to be their friend. The day will come when even her relatives and close friends will be apathetic to her plight, will ignore her, or be unsupportive of her.

So as much as my maternal instinct tells me to bubble wrap her all the time, I think she needs this healthy dose of pain and reality. So that someday, she will know that her identity is NOT found in what others think of her. Her identity is found in her Christ.

Go To Bed Harmony

Last night, after telling Harmony to go to bed for the nth time....

Me: Harmony... nakikinig ka ba? (Are you listening?)

Harmony: (looks at me and nods)

Me: anong sabi ko? (What did I say?)

Harmony: tulog na (sleep already)

Me: anong ginagawa mo? (And what are you doing?)

Harmony: ummm laro (umm play?) (Then in an unsure voice) talking to you (?)

Me: o pero ano dapat ginagawa mo (yeah? But what should you be doing?)

Harmony: tulog. (sleep)

Me: so ano na ang gagawin mo? (So what will you do now)

Harmony: (climbing the bed... finally)... umm tulog! (Um sleep!)

Phew.... i'm exhausted just with that conversation! Lol
.. but thank God no arguements happened tonight since she thinks she won the conversation because she decided what to do and Nanay didn't (or.so she thinks)... sigh. This girl....